Fifteen years ago, seeking reconnection and to fuel our flames in the bedroom, my husband and I ditched our three kids for a weekend-long couples’ retreat called “Better Communication, Better Sex,” at the Miraval Arizona Resort & Spa in Tucson, Ariz. There were separate workshops for women and men, a detailed anatomy review, exercises to encourage affection and expression, and nightly “homework,” with accessories provided (think a feather and some massage oil). End result: The fire’s still burning.
Turns out we were on the front end of a recent trend of sexual wellness retreats, where relationship experts, bodywork therapists and medical spas offer programs centered on intimacy and desire, as well as treatments to improve sexual well-being. Research suggests the need is real — even in long-term relationships, people are aware of just 60 percent of their partner’s sexual preferences, and only 25 percent of their dislikes.
There’s a range of retreats emerging, and the experience can vary, with a focus on experiential exercise, group discussion or bodywork — or a mix of all three. But they all aim for participants to find comfort in their body; enhance intimacy and communication around safety, desires and boundaries; heal past wounds; and build confidence to cultivate deeper sexual connections.
“Retreats take on a whole new meaning because you take people outside of their domesticity and into nature, which awakens the senses,” said Esther Perel, a psychotherapist and the author of “Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence.” “People bring the same issues to therapy as they bring to a retreat, but they experience it completely differently. They come to a therapist’s office to talk about their problems; they go to a retreat to improve something or experience something new.”
Here are five all-inclusive destinations and retreats that offer sexual wellness programs and treatments. Most of these workshops are open to individuals, couples and L.G.B.T.Q. participants, but a few are gender-specific. It’s best to confirm before you book.
Nosara, Costa Rica
From Feb. 15 to 22, Ms. Perel — along with a team of therapists and teachers of Afro Flow yoga (which blends yoga with African-inspired dance movements) — will lead guests through “Erotic Intelligence: Cultivating Desire and Aliveness in Your Relationships,” an immersive sexual wellness experience at the Blue Spirit retreat center, overlooking the Pacific Ocean on the Nicoya Peninsula in Costa Rica. Through workshops, group discussions and exercises, and on the yoga mat, up to 140 participants will discover how to connect with, listen to and understand their erotic selves.
Explorations into intimacy and desire (why does great sex fade for couples still in love?), the need for safety, deep listening and courageous conversations, along with infidelity, are starting points for this workshop, which delves into the meaning of erotic intelligence — a cornerstone of sexual wellness, according to Ms. Perel’s philosophy.
“People all know that you can have sex and feel nothing,” Ms. Perel said. “Doing it is not what this is about.”
The seven-night retreat starts at $2,880.
Sitting on a rugged stretch of coastline, the Esalen Institute is known for its natural hot springs and holistic learning center. Three- to five-day programs cover sexual wellness topics, including personal empowerment, partner massage, erotic communication and intimate healing.
In “The Rewilding of Eros: Un-Domesticating the Erotic Body and Reclaiming Erotic Sovereignty,” (May 30 to June 1), the sexuality educator and coach Victor Warring uses exercises such as movement, consensual touching and group interaction to explore and develop an understanding of what it means to liberate the erotic body.
In a different workshop, “Authentic Consent: An Intimate Weekend of Play, Exploration and Clarity in Connection” (July 11 to 13), the sexologist and intimacy coach Amina Peterson provides guests with a safe space to explore intimacy, pleasure and connection, covering communication strategies; somatic, or body-focused, tools like breathing and muscle relaxation; and practices for embodied consent, or listening to the body’s signals to determine if consent is given.
Standard shared rooms start at $930.
A yoga and wellness center in the Berkshire Hills of western Massachusetts, Kripalu offers a number of expert-led, weekend-long retreats. Offerings include “Yoga of Intimacy: The Spiritual Path of Intimate Relationship,” from Aug. 1 to 3, which has the option of a private intensive after the group retreat, and “Getting the Love You Want: A Couples Retreat,” from Aug. 1 to 3, centered on Imago relationship therapy, which uses workshops and practice sessions to encourage effective communication, foster emotional healing and recreate passion.
“Sexual fulfillment is a big issue for many, and we create a safe, secure environment to speak openly and be brave about what you desire,” said Linda Bloom, a social worker and relationship counselor, who leads the “Love, Sex and Intimacy” retreat, from Oct. 24 to 26, with her husband, Charlie Bloom, who holds the same credentials. The retreat offers experiential exercises to explore intimacy and sensual pleasure. “We define sexual happiness in a very broad way — it can be so much more if you’re harnessing the power of the intention to be connected in a sensual way to bring joy to each other.”
Retreat prices vary by program and start at $299; accommodations start at $149 per night and include three meals a day.
Joshua Tree, Calif.
Founded and run by Pamela Madsen, a somatic wellness educator, Back to the Body offers women-focused monthly retreats grounded in sexological bodywork, which includes breathwork, mind-body exercises, body exploration, erotic touch techniques and therapy to reduce tension and restore alignment in the pelvic area. Set in the high desert, the retreat site accommodates up to 12 women and includes a private chef, a pool, a hot tub and access to hiking trails.
“Women come for reclamation — to understand who they are as erotic creatures,” said Ms. Madsen. “Through voice, dance, breath, touch and movement, they become embodied in every way, growing more sovereign as they learn to trust their body.”
Several participants said they felt significant improvements in sexual self-image, body image and sexual assertiveness from the retreats. “I got to experience what my erotic being was and appreciate my body as a gift for me and my partner,” said Juliana Cheng, a 46-year-old from Torrance, Calif. And Debra Foster, 62, from Milliken, Colo., explained that the retreats helped her create a strong body image, and the mix of individual, group and bodywork sessions ranged from “relaxing, to erotic, to spiritual experiences.”
The eight-day immersion offers hands-on, expert-led bodywork sessions, exercises to overcome body shame and explore desire, one-on-one coaching sessions, and group discussions on topics like power dynamics and boundaries, naming your desire, and obstacles to pleasure.
For those seeking similar retreats focused on men, two members of the Back to the Body staff offer male-only retreats: Cosmo Meens, through the Himeros Project, and Court Vox, aimed at the queer community, through the BodyVox.
Back to the Body’s eight-day retreats start at $10,500.
Costa Mujeres, Mexico, and Alicante, Spain
As we live longer, our sexual lives also get longer, according to the philosophy at SHA Wellness, a medical-wellness clinic with locations on the Mediterranean coast in Spain, and the Yucatán Peninsula in Mexico. Both locations recently opened sexual health units, offering guests an add-on option to the existing array of ongoing wellness programs, which focus on areas such as longevity, burnout, menopause and fitness.
Those interested in enhancing their sexual well-being can try treatments for erectile dysfunction in men and physiotherapy sessions to help strengthen pelvic floor muscles for women. Each wellness program provides a blend of Western medicine — doctors specializing in areas such as urology, gynecology, psychology and endocrinology — and ancient healing practices like yoga and meditation. “We are addressing all aspects of sexual wellness, including function, desire and self-esteem,” said Cinthya Molina, a psychologist who heads the sexual health unit at SHA Wellness in Spain.
Four-night retreats that include the sexual well-being pack start at 5,900 euros, or about $6,065, at SHA Spain, and $7,000 at SHA Mexico.
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