Madonna thought about taking her own life while she and her ex-husband, Guy Ritchie, fought over custody of their son, Rocco, back in 2016.
The “Like a Prayer” singer, 67, opened up about how she “contemplated suicide” nine years ago during Monday’s episode of Jay Shetty’s “On Purpose” podcast.
“There were moments in my life [where] I wanted to cut my arms off,” Madonna began. “I actually contemplated suicide. That probably sounds really weird coming from me because I’m not emo, but I was like, I can’t take this pain anymore.”
Although the seven-time Grammy winner added that she was “not in the blame game,” she admitted that she “used to be that way” and would regularly “seek revenge” on people who had wronged her.
As for her custody battle with Ritchie, Madonna called it “one of the most painful moments of my life.”
“Even though my marriage didn’t work out, someone trying to take my child away from me, it was like, they might as well just kill me,” she explained. “That’s what I was thinking.”
At the time, Madonna was in the middle of a world tour to promote her 2015 album, “Rebel Heart.” However, she struggled to “go on stage every night” because she was so preoccupied with securing custody of Rocco, who was 15 at the time.
“I would just be lying on the floor of my dressing room, sobbing,” the “Like a Virgin” hitmaker recalled. “I really thought it was the end of the world. I couldn’t take it.”
“But thank God, I don’t feel that way anymore,” she continued. “At the end of the day, I needed to learn some lessons. I’m now really good friends with my son.”
Madonna and Ritchie, 57, married in 2000 and went on to welcome one child together, Rocco, now 25, that same year. The pair divorced in 2008.
The custody drama kicked off in December 2015 when Rocco, then 15, wanted to stay in the UK with his father.
Although a New York judge ordered the then-teenager to return to his famous mother in New York City by January 2016, Rocco refused.
The custody case ultimately ended in September 2016 when Madonna stopped trying to force her son to leave the UK, and she dropped the illegal retention allegations she had waged against Ritchie.
Madonna then settled with the “Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels” director and agreed to let Rocco stay with his father in the UK.
“The case is settled and everyone agrees that Rocco’s needs changed and he’s going to be living with dad,” Peter Bronstein, Ritchie’s attorney, confirmed in September 2016.
“Everyone’s agreed to that, and there’s no further need for any kind of a court case,” he added at the time.
