Take it from someone who’s spent years as a survivor advocate, working with people hurt by those in power: You do not negotiate with abusers.
Democrats across the country need to understand this if they want to actually stand up to Donald Trump, especially right now as he’s punishing Democratic states by freezing their federal funding, including billions already approved for the Gateway Tunnel.
This behavior is not only un-American but textbook abuse, and states have a moral obligation to fight back with all the leverage they have. That’s why I’m proposing two straightforward responses from the State of New Jersey.
First, the state should withhold federal taxes, dollar for dollar, to backfill any funding that’s illegally cut. Since employers are the ones who pay taxes to the IRS, and New Jersey employs hundreds of thousands of public workers, the state has billions of dollars we could freeze.
Second, New Jersey should use eminent domain on Trump’s golf course in Bedminster and build some affordable housing there instead. We are in a housing crisis, after all.
Trump has openly and repeatedly declared that he is above the law, with the rigged Supreme Court backing him up. This has emboldened him to go so far as to unleash the American military on American citizens in cities like D.C., Portland, and Los Angeles, while masked ICE thugs kidnap residents right here in the legislative district I’m running to represent.
And even though Congress has the power of the purse, Trump has illegally taken billions of dollars in already-approved funds from “blue” states like ours, putting people’s lives on the line.
Trump’s latest attempt to cancel the Gateway Tunnel — a project more than a decade in the making to replace the crumbling rail tunnel under the Hudson River — could kill people if he gets his way.
The moment our deteriorating tunnel finally fails, and it will, the billions of dollars in economic loss coupled with possible lives lost will cripple New Jersey. This is exactly the scenario Trump wants: to dangle the possibility of death and destruction in our faces in an attempt to control us.
It is vile, and New Jersey should know better than to play that game.
Fortunately, states like New Jersey have leverage, and Trump has shown himself to be a paper tiger. New Jersey sends more to Washington than we get back compared to any other state, including California, the fifth-largest economy in the world.
Under normal circumstances, this makes sense since New Jersey is a wealthier state and we still benefit from big investments in infrastructure projects, like the Gateway Tunnel. But these are not normal times. It doesn’t make any sense for New Jersey to be funding a government that labels us the enemy and steals our tax dollars for projects that were already approved.
Are we obligated to ignore this behavior, or worse, reward it? Absolutely not.
This is the moment where Democrats need to take a page from survivors by setting boundaries and standing up for themselves.
It’s not only the right thing to do but smart politics. As Democrats grapple with the future direction of the party, they need to understand that voters won’t believe you’ll fight for them if you won’t even fight for yourself.
When I was sexually assaulted by a high-ranking state government official, I didn’t wait for someone to save me. Nor did I hope my abuser would suddenly develop a conscience. I stood up, fought back, and demanded accountability, even when it meant going public and putting my job on the line.
That’s how you deal with abusers who think they’re untouchable. And the same principles apply here.
If federal lawmakers won’t stand up to Trump, states like New Jersey must.
When I get to Trenton, I will introduce legislation to claw back our tax dollars, dollar for dollar, for every illegal funding cut, and to seize Trump’s golf course in Bedminster for new affordable housing.
This is our chance to show some fight, and to show Trump what accountability really looks like.
Brennan is a housing expert, advocate for survivors of sexual assault, and the Democratic nominee for New Jersey General Assembly in Legislative District 32, covering Jersey City and Hoboken.
