Working 9 to 5?
From what I hear, Dolly Parton’s new musical is going to need to be worked on 24/7, 365 to be remotely ready for its planned Broadway bow next year.
Called “Dolly: A True Original Musical,” the show, which is produced by Parton, her frequent collaborator Danny Nozell and Ambassador Theatre Group, opened earlier this month in her home state of Tennessee.
The opening-night Nashville audience’s teeth were gnashing, all right.
But not those of national critics. We were barred from reviewing “Dolly,” which tells the beloved 79-year-old country singer’s life story from her poor Appalachian upbringing to global superstardom.
I was crushed. I had to unpack my cowboy boots and blond wig.
But thankfully my spies stumbled outta bed and tumbled to the theater for me.
“Instead of Broadway, the better move is for it to run in a drag bar in Vegas,” said one unimpressed wag.
“Granted, they’d still have to cut two hours.”
Word is that the show is very long and includes too many of Parton’s songs that are sung in full. And some obscure ones at that.
Three women play Dolly at different stages — Katie Rose Clarke (eldest), Carrie St. Louis (middle) and Quinn Titcomb (young) — which is the same recycled format that “Tina: The Tina Turner Musical,” “The Cher Show,” “The Donna Summer Musical” and “MJ” all used.
Clarke apparently fares best of the trio. She opens Act 2 with “Jolene.” And when she sings “I Will Always Love You” as she bids farewell to Porter Wagoner, it’s said to be very moving.
Offstage, sources say director Bartlett Sher, better known for classy Lincoln Center musicals such as “The King and I” and “South Pacific,” and a recent pileup of lousy plays, is a bad fit for honky-tonk Dollywood.
“He can’t do new musicals,” one said. “Stick with revivals.”
Reactions to the book, meanwhile, range from “bland” to “terrible.”
It’s co-written by Parton and Maria S. Schlatter, who also wrote Parton’s syrupy holiday movie “Christmas On The Square,” which, to state the obvious, ain’t “Gypsy.”
Everyone I talked to who’s seen the show agrees the script needs to be scrapped and redone by an experienced theater hand.
The consensus? If book should stay, book would only be in the waaaaay!
I found one kind-hearted audience member who gave me an optimistic review.
“It has good bones,” he said. “It just isn’t finished.”
Indeed, “Dolly” will likely not make it to Broadway by the spring.
The show mulled heading to either the Al Hirschfeld Theatre, where “Moulin Rouge” is still running, and the August Wilson Theatre after “Cabaret” closes.
But a source said Stephen Adly Guirguis’ new play “Dog Day Afternoon” with “Walking Dead” star Jon Bernthal and “The Bear”’s Ebon Moss-Bachrach is going in the Wilson instead.
A few industry viewers went so far to say the show is unfixable. Well, they’ll have plenty of time to try.
I’m told Sher is reluctant to make changes. But gung-ho Parton is greatly invested in her bio-musical being a winner.
“There is an undeniable magic in the air when Dolly’s in that building, and there’s nobody better at rallying the troops and executing an artistic vision,” a production source said.
“You give her five minutes with any cynic, and they will walk away a true believer. She’s going to lead the team to a giant success.”
Back in 2009, when Parton was putting on the stage version of “9 to 5” at the Marquis, she was reportedly very willing to throw out songs and write new ones as needed.
Of course, that musical closed a flop and lost more than $10 million.
Broadway — what a way to make a livin’!
