How does one summon up the life of a God-fearing, loving, tenacious, optimistic, voice of reasoning, confidant, mother within a few words? It would require an infinite amount of time just to scratch the surface on the impact my mom left on this earth.
Audrey Hylton, my beloved mother, came to this country as an immigrant from Jamaica by way of England back in the late 1960s. She was the only one of her siblings to leave her comfort zone to explore the opportunities that America offered. She left for America during a time of uncertainty for a person of color, let alone a woman from another country.
For many this would have been a deterrence to migrate to a country that had enacted Jim Crow laws and segregation as a divisive suppression solely predicated on one’s race. But for my mom, her optimism and faith in God propelled her to journey across the world to new beginnings in-spite of the precarious obstacles she faced ahead.
My mom would quote 2 Corinthians 5:7 I “walk by faith not by sight.” She also would quote James 2:17-26 “Faith without works is dead.” She trusted in God’s promises and guidance, even during challenging circumstances she personally experienced.
She shared with me a story in which she had applied for a job at a bank in Manhattan over the phone and received an in-person interview during the 1960s. When she arrived for the interview, the manager asked her “aren’t you Audrey Hylton from Jamaica, Queens.” My mom smirked and said “I am Audrey Hylton, but from Jamaica the island, not Queens.” My mom had a very strong British accent that apparently this manager mistook for a person not of color. Mom didn’t get the job; in fact, the manager refused to proceed with the interview.
Rather than deter her, this motivated my mom to press forward and exercise her faith in God by pursuing gainful employment which she ascertained at another bank. The rejection from that job stood as a testament of her resilience and hopefulness.
Her positive outlook on life are the tools and guidance she bestowed down on myself and my beloved brother Carey Gabay. Until I was born, my mother raised my brother as a single parent. She raised him during the most precarious times of her life. She didn’t allow life circumstances to deprive him from her teachings. She always said, through Christ all things are possible, when one door closes another one opens.
She cultivated that young boy growing up in public housing in the Bronx, into a Harvard-educated lawyer, who rose all the way up, becoming a top aide to former Gov. Andrew Cuomo. She couldn’t have been prouder of what her son Carey had accomplished.
Those sleepless nights helping him with his homework, picking up shifts to pay for tutors, paid off. My brother was her pride and joy. Unfortunately, my brother was murdered during Brooklyn’s J’ouvert celebration back in 2015, when he was struck by a stray bullet as we walked together during the festivities.
My mom, the solid rock for this family as she’s always been, stood tall during this most difficult time. Those excruciating days as my brother fought for his life, my mom was there every day reading my brother the Scriptures and praying over him. She comforted this family during the darkest moment. Her faith never waived, even after my brother’s passing, she continued to praise God and uplift my spirits.
Instead of mourning in grief, she took this as an opportunity to honor her son, and advocate for gun reform as well as preventive measures to stop gun violence. She worked with me in getting the Brooklyn street where my brother lived renamed after him.
That same positive energy, tenacity and fighting spirit she carried with her through her battle with cancer. She fought this deadly disease with faith and grace. Within the past month the disease had spread drastically throughout her body. I visited her every day when she was in the hospital, praying over her, supporting and comforting her during her final moments on this earth.
As typical behavior for my mom, her faith and her energy never waived, she spoke wisdom and life into me from her hospital bed. I know she’s now with my beloved brother in heaven. Mom, you’ve done an amazing job in life, I will forever love you and miss you.
McNaughton is the younger brother of Carey Gabay, a top state officer killed in 2015 as an innocent victim of gun violence.
