Aubrey Plaza opened up for the first time publicly on coping with the suicide of her estranged husband, Jeff Baena, earlier this year.
The “Parks and Recreation” alum, 41, opened up about the “daily struggle” during Tuesday’s episode of former co-star Amy Poehler’s “Good Hang” podcast.
“I mean, right in this very… very present moment, I feel happy to be with you. I feel, overall I’m here and I’m functioning and I feel really grateful to be moving through the world. I think, like, I’m OK. But, you know, it’s like a… daily struggle, obviously,” Plaza said with a mirthless chuckle.
She then equated her grief to the recent AppleTV+ movie “The Gorge,” in which Miles Teller and Anya Taylor-Joy guard the bookending cliffsides of a gorge “filled with all these monster people that are trying to get them.
“I swear, when I watched that, that feels what my grief is like … or what grief could be like, where it’s like at all times, there’s a giant ocean of awfulness that’s right there and I can see it,” continued the “White Lotus” star.
“And sometimes I just wanna dive into it and be in it. And then sometimes I just look at it and then sometimes I’m like, I just try to get away from it. But it’s always there. It’s always there and the monster people are trying to get me like Miles Teller and Anya Taylor-Joy.”
Screenwriter and director Baena — known for his collaborations with Plaza, including “Life After Beth,” “Joshy” and “The Little Hours” — was found dead by suicide Jan. 3. He was 47.
The couple, who wed in 2021, separated last September, about four months before Baena died by hanging.
Plaza and members of Baena’s family released a joint statement thanking those who had “offered support” amid the “unimaginable tragedy.”
Plaza paid subtle tribute to Baena during her appearance at the “Saturday Night Live” 50th anniversary program in February, sporting a tie-dyed shirt that appeared to nod to the tie-dyed pajamas they wore when they married.
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