The history of U.S. presidents pardoning turkeys is a bit wonky. In 1945, President Truman was credited with being the first leader of the free world to officially pardon a turkey. In a show of compassion, John F. Kennedy was the first president to actually release his turkey back to the farm it came from in 1961. Eight years later, President Nixon went a step further, sending his turkey to a petting zoo. But George H.W. Bush was the first president to formalize the procedure of turkey pardoning in 1989. The credit given to President Truman in 1945 is not only false but cruelly inaccurate. Truman ate his turkey!
GIDDY UP!
QB Josh Allen (vs. 49ers) — Will the Bills have any momentum left after their thrilling victory over the Chiefs? Well, the best part of Thanksgiving is the leftovers. Josh will have plenty left over to rack up points against the 49ers.
QB Jalen Hurts (at Ravens) — Jalen’s string of patsy secondaries continues (Rams, Ravens, Panthers) with a trip down I-95 to Baltimore. The Ravens’ secondary is as wobbly as my mother-in-law Beth’s fruit and Jell-O mold.
RB Jahmyr Gibbs (Thursday vs. Bears) — We need someone fun to root for on Thanksgiving, and Gibbs is our man. The Bears don’t play the run very well and backfield mate David Montgomery is nicked up (shoulder, check status), meaning more gravy for Gibbs.
RB Breece Hall (vs. Seahawks) — Hey Jets! You turkeys want to know how to win a damn game? Try giving your best player 25 carries instead of 15. He averages over five yards a pop his last four games. What have you got to lose (besides a higher draft pick)?
WRs Nico Collins and Tank Dell (at Jacksonville) — The best parts of the turkey are the drumsticks because you get two of them. The best parts of the Texans’ offense are the WRs because you have two of them as well. Collins has been unstoppable since returning from a hamstring injury. His last two games against the Jaguars: 19/255/2 TDs. Dell’s stats his last two games against the Jags are just as tasty: 10/195/2 TDs. Pass the mashed potatoes and double up on the Texan tandem.
TE Taysom Hill (vs. Rams) — Oh my gourd did Hill knock the stuffing out of Cleveland in Week 11. Taysom’s 48 points was a feast for his owners. Will he gobble up more yards this week? You ain’t seen stuffing yet!
WHOA DOWN!
QB Russell Wilson (at Bengals) — Wilson moves like he’s in a turkey induced tryptophan coma, so the Steelers have been pulling him occasionally in favor of the more elusive Justin Fields. Those missed plays cost Wilson points every game.
QB Geno Smith (vs. Jets) — Gang Green comes back from their bye to face their old friend. But the Jets are not in a friendly mood. Avoid Geno like Aunt Lilly’s Thanksgiving Day turnips.
RB Ameer Abdullah (Friday at Chiefs) — If you started Abdullah and his 17 Fantasy points last week, congratulations. But that won’t happen against the Chiefs. You’re better off getting your Black Friday shopping done than starting Abdullah.
RB Tyrone Tracy (Thursday at Cowboys) — Tracy’s hands are as slippery as Nana’s glazed carrots. He’s had two fumbles within the five-yard line the last two weeks, both at crucial times. He lost the next short-yardage TD to Devin Singletary.
WR Curtis Samuel (vs. 49ers) — Samuel made mincemeat out of the Chiefs in his last game. But with Keon Coleman and Dalton Kincaid (check statuses) back from injury, Samuel turns back into a turkey pot pie.
WR Rashod Bateman (vs. Eagles) — Did you know pumpkin pie is really made from butternut squash? This is an outrage! If we knew it was squash, would we buy it? I thought Bateman was pumpkin pie at the beginning of the season, but averaging just three catches a game, I’m not buying it anymore.
TE Kyle Pitts (vs. Chargers) — You can smother Brussels sprouts with cheese, maple syrup or butter and it still makes the house smell like a porta potty. Pitts’ 13 Fantasy points his last three games stink too.
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Bill Reinhard is a member of the Fantasy Sports Writers Association and a columnist for FantasyGuru.com. Catch Bill every Wednesday night at 6:45 on “This Week in Pro Football” on YouTube TV.
