A few months ago, my daughter and son-in-law had a leak in their apartment and, along with their newborn son, moved in with me — “temporarily.”
If you told me years ago that I’d be living in a multigenerational household, I’d have laughed. Like many Americans, I believed in the myth of independence — that success for my children meant a house of their own, far from the nest.
And yet, here I am, months later, sipping coffee and downing my “woman of a certain age” vitamins, while cleaning baby bottles, with my grandson babbling nearby — and I’ve never felt happier.
Intergenerational living isn’t some radical experiment. It’s how humans have lived for most of history. It’s how they still live in many countries.
But somewhere along the way, my Boomer generation decided that a house filled with relatives was a sign of failure rather than a model for thriving. Meanwhile, loneliness is skyrocketing, housing costs are crushing young adults, and millions of homes sit vacant.
Maybe it’s time we rethink what “progress” really means. Maybe leaving the nest isn’t always the best idea. Maybe what I’ve come to think of as “re-nesting” is a solution to embrace rather than deride.
The statistics on loneliness are staggering. The World Health Organization launched a Commission on Social Connection to address this public health crisis. The usual prescriptions? More religious institution attendance, more community organizations, more “third spaces” — libraries, coffee shops, dog parks.
But what if the simplest and most effective solution to loneliness was staring at us in our kitchens? What if we didn’t need more places to “connect” because we were already integrated at home with the people who loved and cared about us the most?
Studies show that 30% of young adults 18-34 report feeling lonely, just shy of the 34% of older Americans who report feeling isolated or lonely. Experts say this contributes significantly to anxiety, depression, substance abuse and — in some extreme cases — suicidal ideation. It is also correlated with cognitive decline and dementia.
Yet we’re still stuck on the idea that every adult should live in their own little box, isolated from the people who could offer them real connection and support.
For years, intergenerational living has been framed as an option for the elderly—a way to keep aging parents engaged, active, and cared for. That’s true, but that narrow thinking misses the bigger picture. Young adults need connectivity, too. So do young children, who thrive when raised by multiple adults invested in their well-being.
And it doesn’t even have to be family. Architects and urban planners are experimenting with intergenerational co-housing, where unrelated people of all ages share meals, responsibilities, space — and critically — their lives.
Some promising models already exist. Home-sharing programs are pairing students with seniors, creating mutually beneficial arrangements where both parties gain companionship and support. Intentional intergenerational communities are emerging, designed to mix age groups in ways that foster real relationships.
These aren’t just cute experiments — they’re blueprints that could help solve our growing twin crises of loneliness and housing instability.
And there are other financial incentives. Intergenerational living offers several tax advantages, depending on location and specific circumstances.
In Canada, families can benefit from the Multigenerational Home Renovation Tax Credit, which provides a 15% tax refund on renovation costs up to $50,000 for creating a secondary unit for seniors or family members with disabilities.
Additionally, multigenerational households may qualify for tax benefits by claiming dependents, such as elderly parents or children, on their tax returns. This can lower tax liability through the Child Tax Credit or the Earned Income Tax Credit in certain jurisdictions.
Shared financial responsibilities in such households also allow for cost savings on property taxes, utilities, and caregiving expenses, which contribute to increased financial stability.
It’s time to stop treating intergenerational living as a fallback in emergencies and start seeing it as a forward-thinking choice. We celebrate public spaces as the answer to our social disconnection, but the best “third space” isn’t a place you visit — it’s a home you share.
In an era of economic precarity and fraying social ties, the most radical thing we can do is also the most human: live together. Re-nest.
It may not be the right solution for every family, but, for me, it has been an unexpected joy — and a model path for others to save money on crushing housing and child care costs as well as finding much-needed connection at different stages of life.
Belzberg is a mother, grandmother, Columbia University professor, education activist and — perhaps most importantly— a skilled babysitter.
