RIP the wacky Globes.
If you thought last year’s Golden Globes nominations were esoteric, well the 2026 crop is practically a cinema studies course syllabus.
Exhibit A: The nods, which were announced Monday, include five Cannes Film Festival premieres in the top categories of best motion picture – drama and best motion picture – musical or comedy.
Four of those movies — “It Was Just An Accident,” “Sentimental Value,” “The Secret Agent” and “No Other Choice” — respectively hail from Iran, Norway, Brazil and South Korea.
Another, Richard Linklater’s “Nouvelle Vague,” is almost entirely in French.
Which is to say, few viewers of the Jan. 11th CBS telecast will have watched or even heard of any of them.
Sacré bleu!
It makes you feel for host Nikki Glaser. Thank God “One Battle After Another” leads with nine nominations. She can at least crack some Leonardo DiCaprio girlfriend jokes.
Ever since 2021 when the Globes rooted out corruption in its ranks, expanded its voting membership of foreign journalists and were sold to Dick Clark Productions, their picks have become super serious.
They moved out of mom’s basement and got a job. They floss now.
Hence “Avatar: Fire and Ash” and “Wicked: For Good” being left out of best motion picture this year, even though several American groups have so far included one or both. Don’t count ‘em out for the Academy Awards, although neither can snap up best picture.
That said, barring a Karla Sofia Gascon in “Emilia Perez”-like implosion, every eventual Oscar winner is somewhere on this list. Many of the films are fantastic. You should watch them, but I’m not holding my breath.
“One Battle,” for my money, has already won the battle.
Director Paul Thomas Anderson’s acclaimed action-comedy has been steamrolling the competition. It’ll add best motion picture – comedy at the Globes to its haul.
And at the Oscars in March, fellow Globe nominees “Sinners,” “Hamnet” and “Marty Supreme” won’t be able to take it down.
The motion picture – drama prize probably goes to something like Brazil’s “The Secret Agent” or Iran’s “It Was Just An Accident.”
The acting races are spicier. And starrier.
The incandescent Jessie Buckley of “Hamnet” and fierce Rose Byrne of “If I Had Legs I’d Kick” will be glad that, being respectively in actress – drama and comedy, they aren’t facing off.
Buckley has been the frontrunner for the Oscar since her heartbreaking Shakespeare riff premiered back in the Fall, but Byrne is on the rise after a series of critics group wins.
They’ll likely both be victorious in their competitions.
The actor – comedy field is full of heavy hitters: DiCaprio, Timothée Chalamet (“Marty Supreme”), George Clooney (“Jay Kelly”), Ethan Hawke (“Blue Moon”), Jesse Plemons (“Bugonia”) and somewhat less heavy Lee Byung-Hun (“No Other Choice”).
But it’s a three-way battle between DiCaprio, Hawke and Chalamet, our 29-year-old Hollywood striver who’s dinged by the widely held perception that he’ll make great movies for another 50 years or more.
I reckon 55-year-old Hawke takes this one. His performance as Broadway lyricist Lorenz Hart is a tour de force, and without him there’s no movie.
Hawke would then emerge as the Oscar favorite.
And what of Ariana Grande? She’s nominated once again in supporting actress for playing Glinda in “Wicked.” So is co-star Cynthia Erivo in best actress, but she shan’t defy vulnerability.
Grande was the top pick before “For Good”’s reviews were only goodish. The safer bets now are Amy Madigan, who should win for “Weapons,” Teyana Taylor (“One Battle”) and Inga Ibsdoter Lilleaas (“Sentimental Value”). Emily Blunt (“The Smashing Machine“)? A quiet last place.
Blunt and co-star Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson will, um, have a nice night of conversations and Nobu delicacies.
Johnson almost certainly loses actor – drama to Wagner Moura (“The Secret Agent”) or Michael B. Jordan (“Sinners”).
By the way, I would’ve killed to have sat in on the Globes’ deliberations over whether or not to nominate “Avatar: Fire and Ash” for its stupid box office achievement award.
They ultimately did. But “Fire and Ash” has not yet opened and therefore has achieved $0. Hilarious!
See? The Globes can still provide some dismissive laughs after all.
