Carrie Bradshaw once said, “If you find someone to love the you you love, well, that’s just fabulous,” and that she did — over and over again.
Sarah Jessica Parker’s iconic character in “Sex and the City” went through men like it was her full-time job (which it basically was).
There was Jack Berger (Ron Livingston), who broke up with Carrie using a Post-it breakup; Aleksandr Petrovsky (Mikhail Baryshnikov), a wealthy and older Russian artist; John McFadden (Dean Winters), her random “f–k buddy;” Aidan Shaw (John Corbett), the one who got away; and, of course, her big love — John James Preston, aka Mr. Big, (Chris Noth).
While Carrie evolved throughout the six-season HBO drama that turned into two hit movies and the spinoff, “And Just Like That,” she kissed several toads before landing her frog.
The Post spoke to relationship expert Sandra Hatton, CEO and founder of When We First Met, who broke down Carrie’s biggest relationship blunder — and finally put to rest the Aidan vs. Big of it all.
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Carrie’s biggest relationship mistake
“It wasn’t loving the wrong man, it was ignoring the right lessons. We all make mistakes. We need to make mistakes to grow,” Hatton told The Post.
“Leaving Aidan for Big was messy. Taking Big back after the altar debacle? Risky and some would say a mistake,” she explained, before revealing Carrie’s real dating mistake was “believing that love must always be dramatic to be real.”
“She confused intensity and pain for something bigger,” Hatton added. “That cost her good men, time, and for a while, her peace.”
Carrie and Big
While Hatton admits that Big was “a soulmate,” she doesn’t believe he was Carrie’s only one.
“Sex and the City” fans saw Carrie and Big break up and make up several times over the six-season HBO series before he finally popped the question, only to leave her at the altar in the first movie. While they thought they found their forever when they finally said “I do,” Big died in the first episode of “And Just Like That” after suffering a heart attack following a Peloton ride.
“Big was the kind of soulmate that teaches you lessons,” Hatton said, adding that friends like Miranda Hobbes (Cynthia Nixon), Charlotte York (Kristin Davis) and Samantha Jones (Kim Cattrall) can be soulmates, too.
But Big’s big screwup came later in their relationship, she shared.
“Was he the one? At one time, yes. Probably before he didn’t show up at the altar,” the relationship expert told The Post. “He was someone she kept choosing because the idea of ‘winning him’ was engrained into who she was.”
Admitting they “had a love story for the ages,” Hatton explained it was “not necessarily a love that lasted forever.”
Carrie and Aidan
Carrie’s other significant love and her one-time fiancé, Aidan, comes back into her life several times during her breaks from Big, including when she becomes a widow in the spinoff series.
“And Just Like That” Season 2 left fans on a cliffhanger when Aidan tells Carrie he needs to put a five-year pause on their relationship to ditch the city and take care of his son, leaving everyone’s favorite Manolo-heeled writer alone after she purchased an upgraded Gramercy brownstone for them to share.
While Aidan does appear in the Season 3 trailer, it’s unclear what their relationship status will be. When asked if Carrie was correct in letting Aidan walk out of her life again, Hatton had an interesting perspective.
“Carrie choosing not to chase Aidan to Virginia shows restraint, maturity, and, surprisingly, self-respect. She didn’t contort herself to make the relationship work as she has done with others in the past. She let him go without begging or bargaining. But she also accepted a five-year hiatus without much clarity. That’s not a pause, it’s a gamble,” the matchmaker explained to The Post. “An agreement to stop time and hope everything and everyone stays the same. It’s not realistic or fair, to either of them.
“Still, it’s not a mistake to hope and Carrie has always been a romantic. The real question is whether she’s finally learning that romance can’t come at the expense of self-preservation. They could have come to a compromise and maybe they will,” she added.
Will Carrie find love again after Big and Aidan?
While Hatton doesn’t think fans need to write Carrie and Aidan’s happy ending off completely, she explained that Carrie “doesn’t need to find a love that mimics her past. She needs one that honors her present.”
“Carrie has spent much of her romantic life bending to fit someone else’s terms by waiting for Big to be ready, walking on eggshells with Aidan, compromising for Aleksandr’s life in Paris. But the hope now isn’t that she chases someone new, or even that she ‘gets Aidan back,’ it’s that she no longer chases at all,” she elaborated.
Hatton also gave Carrie advice, telling The Post she “doesn’t need to find a love that mimics her past. She needs one that honors her present. And maybe that’s the lesson for all of us, especially women in their 50s and beyond. We’re not waiting to be completed.”
“We’ve lived, lost, grown, and come into ourselves. The next great love, when it comes, should compliment and add value who we already are, not rescue us from who we’ve been,” she added.
“I hope she learns, finally, that real love doesn’t require her to shrink, wait, or wonder. If Aidan returns let it be because he chooses her with clarity, not conditions. And if someone new enters her life, may it be someone who meets her as she is, not someone she has to write herself into for the plot to work.”
How to watch ‘And Just Like That’
The new season of “And Just Like That” begins streaming on Max Thursday, May 29, at 9 p.m. ET, with new episodes – and faces — dropping weekly on Thursday.
Season 3 will feature 12 episodes, with the finale airing on August 14.
