“With everything I do, there’s a free version, a cheap version and the crazy billionaire version,” Dave Asprey, the man widely credited with launching the biohacking movement, told The Post.
The problem, he explained, is that everyone wants the billionaire version, but almost no one can afford it.
“So I thought, what would happen if I put this in a facility so that, for about the cost of a nice gym membership, you could access the same tools crazy billionaires use to make themselves younger, smarter, faster and stronger — in a lot less time,” Asprey said.
That’s how he came to found Upgrade Labs in 2017, a venue he bills as a “Human Upgrade Center” filled with cutting-edge therapies — now finally accessible to the average Joe.
I had the chance to try everything out at Upgrade Labs’ Austin, Texas location this fall — alongside Asprey himself.
Along with high-tech workout gear, the $189-a-month facility offers advanced recovery tools designed to speed healing, boost energy and help you look and feel your best.
And while a 360-degree lymphatic massage known as “The Big Squeeze” has stuck in my mind the most, it wasn’t the one piece of tech I wish I could take home and use all the time.
The Big Squeeze
You’ve heard the phrase “how the sausage is made” — but have you ever wondered what it feels like to be the sausage?
I can officially say I have a pretty good idea after I ended up zipped into a space-age pantsuit that hugged me tight like a mechanical anaconda at dinnertime.
The Big Squeeze — officially called the Ballancer Pro — is an FDA-approved compression therapy device designed to target areas linked to the lymphatic system, which helps flush out toxins and maintain the body’s fluid balance.
Inside the suit, 24 air chambers inflate and deflate in waves, applying pressure that moves up the body while focusing on the stomach, hips, thighs and glutes.
By stimulating these zones, Upgrade Labs says the suit can reduce water retention, ease muscle soreness, improve circulation, and even tone the body. Some users report it helps smooth out cellulite, too.
It’s a celebrity favorite, with fans ranging from A-listers like Jennifer Aniston and Paris Hilton to NFL stars like DeAndre Hopkins and Brian O’Neill.
After 40 minutes in the suit — paired with a red light facial treatment — I could see why. My body felt looser, lighter and noticeably less bloated. Even my waistband seemed to breathe a little easier.
Zapped back to life
Next up: the PEMF blanket, or pulsed electromagnetic field therapy, which sends bursts of low-level electromagnetic waves through your skin into muscles, bones, tendons and organs to stimulate and recharge your cells.
The goal? To rebalance the body’s electrical signals. While still under study, research hints at better cell performance, bone health, muscle recovery and injury relief.
“You put it on anywhere that’s sore, and you can actually feel the muscles twitch,” Asprey said.
Once the blanket was draped over me and the power turned up, a low hum rippled through my body.
The pulses, I was told, tend to zero in on injured areas — and it seemed the machine knew exactly where I hurt: my upper back.
At first, I felt a warm, slightly pinching sensation around my shoulders. Then things escalated. My back spasmed, lifting off the table with each current digging into knots I didn’t even know I had.
“It’s like a whole-system upgrade. It’s one of my favorite things to do when I come in.”
Dave Asprey on the Redcharger
Then it got weirder — and more impressive. The sensation shifted downwards, settling in my lower back and hips before locking onto my right knee, which I’d recently strained.
After just 12 minutes under the blanket, I felt noticeably better. My back pain had eased, my knee wasn’t aching and I felt surprisingly energized.
Later, when I tried Upgrade Labs’ fitness equipment, I noticed that my range of motion had already improved compared to earlier in the day.
Honestly, I felt so good after just one session that if I had one of these at home, I’d use it every day.
Soaking up the glow
Then came the Redcharger, Upgrade Labs’ frequency-specific light therapy device.
It floods your body with a mix of red, infrared, near-infrared and green light, firing up your cells, reducing inflammation and boosting overall wellness.
The machine can be customized to tackle everything from hair loss and acne to arthritis, depression and fatigue. I opted for the “general tune-up” session, which lasts about 20 minutes.
Wearing nothing but my skivvies, I slid into a pod that looked like a tanning bed. After slipping on goggles, the machine whirred to life, bathing me in color-changing light.
The warmth and gentle hum of the machine relaxed me within seconds. I even nodded off once or twice.
Before I knew it, the session was over. Stepping out, I wished I could dive right back in. My head felt light, almost floaty — a sign that my brain was pumping out feel-good endorphins.
“It’s like a whole-system upgrade,” Asprey said. “It’s one of my favorite things to do when I come in.”
Cold snap recharge
Upgrade Labs also runs a cryotherapy chamber, which I approached with nervous excitement.
While I’m no stranger to cold plunges, the thought of locking myself in a -175°F chamber for three minutes had my stomach doing flips.
“This is whole body, including the face, which tells the body to burn hundreds more calories, turns off inflammation and gives you a huge wave of endorphins so you feel really good,” Asprey explained.
“This is mildly uncomfortable, which is going to change the amount of dopamine that’s required for you to feel motivated and happy all day long,” he added.
Before entering, I stripped down into a robe and pulled on slippers, gloves, ear muffs and a face mask to keep frostbite at bay. I also throw on a headphones, queuing up AC/DC’s “Back in Black” to pump me up through the freeze.
Music, the technician told me, tends to make the experience go by faster.
The moment I stepped inside, the intense blast of cold hit me like a freight train. My body stiffened, my hair stood on end and my breathing felt sharp and shallow as the icy air filled my lungs.
But as I stayed still, focusing on taking deep breaths and Brian Johnson’s wailing vocals, the sting eased. My limbs went numb, and I swear I could feel the mucus in my nose freeze.
Stepping out, a sudden rush of warmth washed over my body. I felt energized, clear-headed and ready to crush a workout. While inside, my internal body temperature had dropped from 97°F to a chilly 68°F.
Breath work, but biohacked
Before wrapping up at Upgrade Labs, I gave their metabolic trainer a try.
The setup mimics altitude training by cycling between high and low oxygen levels — essentially giving you an aerobic workout just by breathing.
This process, Asprey explained, encourages oxygen-rich blood flow to improve cardiovascular performance, support immune health, fire up metabolism and sharpen mental clarity.
I settled into a recliner and slipped on a mask that covered my nose and mouth, attached to a tangle of tubes that made me look like a character straight out of Mad Max.
From there, all I had to do was breathe for the next 40 minutes. While it was painless, the shifting oxygen levels made me feel lightheaded and sleepy during the low-oxygen phases, followed by some of the deepest, most refreshing breaths I’ve ever had when the levels spiked.
Technicians monitored my blood oxygen saturation throughout to make sure it never dropped too far.
When I took off the mask, I felt relaxed and a little low-energy — but my airways felt clearer and breathing was easier.
Later that day, while testing more of Upgrade Labs’ workout gear, I noticed I wasn’t gasping for air after exertion. My recovery was noticeably faster.
Walking out, I understood why Austinites are flocking to the lab.
The most surprising part? If Upgrade Labs opens in New York, I could probably afford a basic membership — and in the Big Apple, that’s no small thing.
