Everybody was shocked — shocked! — when Stephen Colbert announced this week that CBS canceled “The Late Show.”
The despondent media reacted like a meteor was about to smash into Earth.
But how surprising was Colbert’s kibosh really?
Did peoples’ jaws also hit the floor when Blockbuster Video called it quits in 2014?
Were they muffling their screams when blimps were phased out for air travel in 1937?
“What do you mean ‘no more silent films’?!”
The end of “The Late Show” was every bit as writ-in-stone as any of those predictable downfalls.
And it’s not only Colbert. The Grim Reaper is coming for all of late-night TV. Those comedians in neckties are just ignoring Death’s deafening knock.
The retro programs, which began in the 1950s as an experiment to fill time, have far too tiny a viewership to justify their exorbitant cost anymore.
The Post reported Friday that Colbert’s talk show was losing $40 to $50 million per year. The Times watered down those figures to mere “tens of millions.”
Awfully hard to blame Trump for that.
True, “The Late Show” was beating the competition with 2.42 million nightly viewers on average during the first quarter. But just 9% of those eyeballs were in the 18-49 demo that advertisers covet.
That means no ad dollars because young people couldn’t care less.
And why would they?
They’ve got YouTube and TikTok to scroll through after dark.
The funniest story of the week by a mile was Astronomer CEO Andy Byron getting caught on the jumbotron kiss cam canoodling with his head of HR at a Coldplay concert.
I even chuckled as I typed it.
Fifteen years ago, Americans would’ve turned to David Letterman and Conan O’Brien to mock the horny halfwits.
Now, social media does it faster and funnier than Colbert, Jimmy Fallon, Jimmy Kimmel and Seth Meyers ever could.
Shake up the format all you want, but a fixed 11:30 p.m. show with commercial breaks on a dusty, old, censored network can’t compete with instant, razor-sharp reactions from billions.
Could chats with A-List stars keep the struggling shows afloat?
Hah. The five-minute, skim-the-surface interview is a thing of the past, too. Celebrities are way overexposed, and promotional appearances present them at their fakest and least likable.
That’s why podcasts like “Good Hang with Amy Poehler” and “Las Culturistas” with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang, which can be listened to for free at any time of day, are so popular. They give you a casual, revealing full hour with big names.
Sensing the sea change, top talent keeps choosing headphones over TV sets.
The escalating politics of late night are often called out as the chief offender. And they were a thorn, to be sure. But their slant is not the No. 1 problem anymore.
Think about it. Gen Z and Millennials aren’t steering clear of talk shows because the hosts are too left-leaning.
The simple truth is these monologue-couch-desk affairs are behind-the-times museum exhibits that today’s audience has a dwindling connection to.
“The Late Late Show with James Corden” was the first major casualty. Now, the guillotine has dropped on CBS’ former crown jewel. NBC’s “The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon,” “Late Night with Seth Meyers” and “Jimmy Kimmel Live!” won’t be far behind.
Yes, I know the politically driven cable shows like “The Daily Show” and “Gutfeld” are chugging along. They’re different animals.
Undeniably, the network workhorses that were once for everybody are now for nobody.
It’s telling that, aside from Colbert’s walking papers, just one big-ish story has come out of late-night TV all month.
That was cuckoo Joaquin Phoenix apologizing for his uncomfortable stunt interview with David Letterman, the first “Late Show” host, back in 2009.
It’s a reminder of how vital late-night TV used to be. A 16-year-old interaction with a totally different man is still a hotter topic than anything the new guys can drum up.
I’d suggest Letterman return for a “Top 10 Reasons Late-night Shows Are Disappearing” list.
But he’d only need one.
Nobody’s watching them.
