Rachel Lindsay Greenbush is reflecting on her departure from Walnut Grove more than 40 years ago.
The “Little House on the Prairie” alum, who shared the role of Carrie Ingalls with her twin sister, Sidney Greenbush, for the first eight seasons, acknowledged that it was “really hard” for her to leave the series in 1982.
“I don’t think I really realized how much it affected me until I was much older and went on the journey of reconciliation and self-discovery,” Greenbush, 55, shared during the show’s 50th anniversary reunion in Simi Valley, California, earlier this month, per Entertainment Weekly.
“Everybody separated, and I didn’t see anybody,” she continued. “And that was really hard for me personally because I didn’t realize how connected I had been to everybody until years later.”
Greenbush and her twin sister were just 3 years old when the “Little House” series kicked off with a TV movie in 1974.
Alongside Laura (Melissa Gilbert), Mary (Melissa Sue Anderson), Charles (Michael Landon) and Caroline (Karen Grassle), they made up the Ingalls family until the series shifted focus to Laura and the new family she was raising with husband Almanzo Wilder (Dean Butler).
“It’s almost a tragic loss, but I wouldn’t let myself acknowledge it, because I was like, ‘But this is the profession. This is what we do,’” Greenbush, who was 12 when her time on “Little House” came to an end, told EW.
“You make these really deep, intense bonds working with each other every single day, and then when it’s over, you’re just supposed to be like, ‘Okay, that was nice. Bye.’ And it’s really hard that way,” she added.
Despite sharing the role of Carrie, Greenbush and her sister were credited as one person: Lindsay Sidney Greenbush.
The role of Carrie also marked one of Greenbush’s last acting credits, because she retired in 1983 to focus on her education.
“It’s a really strange thing about acting, and all actors know it, that it’s not forever, that you don’t know if it’s going to get renewed for another season,” she told the outlet of her eighth and final season on the hit NBC drama. “You’re always on pins and needles, ‘Are we coming back? Are we not coming back?’
“Your heart feels like it’s never going to end,” Greenbush added. “This is never going to end.”
She previously endorsed the upcoming Netflix reboot of “Little House on the Prairie,” which began production earlier this year.
“I think there’s room in the ‘Little House’ universe for all different kinds of stories to be told — just like there was always room in the ‘Little Women’ universe to keep retelling that story,” she told EW in February, nearly 50 years after the original series premiered.
The former actress’ “Little House” sisters also made recent headlines when they reunited over the weekend following their decades-long feud.
Gilbert, 61, and Anderson, 63, posed together in a photo taken backstage at Gilbert’s off-Broadway show “Pen Pals” in an Instagram post shared on Saturday.
“Reconnection with a sister. Long, healing talks. Lots of reminiscing. Lots of catching up. Lots of laughter and a few tears,” Gilbert captioned the sweet post.
“Just us Ingalls girls,” she added. “The best part is, the past is now just that and we can move forward as the sisters/friends we always wanted to be. What a wonderful Christmas gift.”
Both actresses had previously shared details about the less-than-friendly dynamic they had during filming.
