Nikki Glaser pulled some punches from her opening monologue at the 2025 Golden Globes on Sunday night.
The celebrated roaster, 40, revealed the zingers while talking with Howard Stern on Monday’s episode of his SiriusXM show.
Two of the more head-turning quips that didn’t make the cut included poking fun at Ben Affleck for marrying — and divorcing — two famous Jennifers (Garner and Lopez), and America’s obsession with CEO accused killer Luigi Mangione.
Of Affleck, Glaser told the shock jock, 70, that she almost said, “Am I gonna roast or am I gonna toast? You know what? I’m not roasting. I’m gonna toast.”
“And I just did all these toasts that were roasts,” she explained of the cut bit. “Like, ‘Here’s to Ben Affleck, I can’t wait to see which Jennifer you try to ruin next.’”
In August, Lopez filed for divorce from Affleck two years after marrying and taking their second shot at love. The pair first got engaged in 2003 before calling it quits in 2004.
The “Air” director married actress Garner in 2005. They announced their separation 10 years later but didn’t file for divorce until 2017.
The exact wording of Glaser’s Jennifer joke proved a problem for her and the writers.
“I argued like, ‘Oh, I didn’t say ruin them. I said he tried to ruin them so it’s not against them.’ But I was like, ‘That would have been insane.’”
Affleck didn’t come away totally unscathed from the evening, though.
“So, tonight, we celebrate the best of film and hold space for television,” Glaser said during the show opener.
“Yes, ‘Wicked,’ ‘Queer,’ ‘Nightbitch’: These are not just words Ben Affleck yells after he orgasms. These are some of the incredible movies nominated tonight.”
As for Mangione, Glaser told Stern she had a remark ready about the accused murderer‘s looks.
“Glen Powell is nominated tonight for ‘Hit Man,’” the joke began. “Who would have thought that by the end of the year, you’d only be the second hottest hit man in America.”
Glaser tried out all of her jokes at comedy clubs before Sunday’s ceremony at the Beverly Hilton in Los Angeles. The Luigi gag didn’t draw big laughs from test audiences.
“That one we didn’t do because people Luigi was a big deal for a while, and then it kind of faded and took a while for people to get it,” she explained to Stern.
In the end, The “Someday You’ll Die” comedian made a different joke about Powell during her monologue.
“Glen Powell, what a year you’ve had,” the host said of the 36-year-old star. “Oh, my God, Glen, you were in everything. “Twisters”; “Hit Man”; my head when I’m having sex with my boyfriend.”
“Thank you so much for the assist. I’ll see you tonight,” she added.
Glaser got positive reviews for her Golden Globes performance. And despite cutting some scathing jokes from her opening monologue, plenty still walloped — including ones about Timothée Chalamet, “Wicked” and “Joker 2.”
