What does a cranky attorney know about funny?
Scarsdale, N.Y.: To Alan Dershowitz (“50 years of ‘SNL’ is just not funny,” op-ed, Feb. 20): NYC is full of park benches with elderly men baying at the moon, usually one accompanied by others looking away. More often, a singular figure ignored by folks passing by shaking their heads, hereafter referred to as the neighborhood “Dershowitz.” Your take that “Saturday Night Live” “was never funny” is about as irrelevant as most of your legal opinions over the past 40 years. As an older man myself, you sound like everything we elders don’t want to be: loud and obnoxious. What you might not have realized in your neighborhood that had a Buddy, a Jackie and a Woody is that you were the “Dershowitz.”
Lorne Michaels took what was impossible and made it a necessary and vibrant part of our culture in a time slot formerly reserved for infomercials. Try that on for size, Funny D. And he did that while you were getting O.J. Simpson off the hook. Talk about not funny. Michaels has roasted both sides of the political spectrum and everything in between.
I wouldn’t call you “old-fashioned” or “nostalgic.” I would call it angry, bitter and irrelevant. Jackie Gleason had a silent character called “The Poor Soul.” He was sad and funny. Your cheap shot at “SNL” and Michaels is neither. You are the neighborhood Dershowitz on the bench, alone. You mentioned George Carlin as one of your funny people — you know, the man who hosted the very first “SNL.” Take comfort, Alan, that it’s me writing this reply and not Carlin. He would have roasted you alive comedically, like an “SNL” opening monologue. Paul Christie
Goofy getup
Charlotte, N.C.: It’s absurd how Republicans are so offended by a comedy skit on “Saturday Night Live.” What they are really missing is the comedy of the clown in the White House. Donald Trump always wears that stupid hat when he’s outside so the wind won’t disturb his ridiculous comb-over. He wears those way-out-of-fashion long suit coats to hide his big, fat butt. All he needs is the addition of a big red nose to that orange makeup and he becomes Bozo the Clown. Now that’s funny! Ron Turek
Front-page material
Schenectady, N.Y.: That excellent editorial on Tuesday (“America’s shame at the UN,” Feb. 25) should have been the first page of your paper. Within the next week, make it your cover page. Diane Sanders Hombach
Federal overreach
Brooklyn: To our dear orange leader: So it’s OK for states to completely decide on abortion rights, but it’s not OK for states to decide on congestion pricing? I know you’re spending a lot of time trying to annex Canada and Greenland instead of dealing with inflation and health care, but maybe you should rethink your stance. Carol Katz
Bad for business
Roosevelt, L.I.: With many long-standing businesses closing their doors left and right, long-time employees losing their jobs and the price of eggs and other foods rising higher and higher every day across the landscape of America, Trump’s racist, classist and sexist war on diversity, equity and inclusion (DEI) is ignorant, foolish and not good for business in America. Wake up, America! DEI is an asset to America, not a liability! Arthur L. Mackey Jr.
That’s rich
Park Ridge, N.J.: Regarding the emails Elon Musk is sending to government employees ordering them to list five things they accomplished last week, I think they should all write back, “My job!” I agree that the federal government has become a giant, bloated mess, but to have some bully of a hired gun indiscriminately slash the work force with no regard for the lives and financial circumstances of the people he’s firing is wrong. Maybe billionaires who want for nothing and have no idea what it’s like to have to budget your money (at best) or to have to live paycheck-to-paycheck (at worst) shouldn’t be the ones deciding who goes and who stays. Steve Ostlund
Partially impossible
Woodland Park, N.J.: Trump said that federal employees may be semi-fired if they do not respond to Musk’s email. What is semi-fired? Is it a little like being semi-pregnant? John Dent
Slacker
Edgewater, N.J.: It has been reported that the president, who is very concerned about federal employees not being at their desks consistently, has found time to play golf on nine of his first 30 days of federal reemployment, for which taxpayers were charged in excess of $10 million. What has not been reported is whether this is a post-DOGE figure and how much we saved as a result, or whether this is a pre-DOGE figure and how much money we can be expected to save over the next 30 days. Jay K. Egelberg
5 things
Danbury, Conn.: Dear Elon, here is the requested list of important things I’ve done this week to justify my staying in the White House: 1) Played 18 holes of golf in Florida on the taxpayer’s dime. 2) Watched late news and posted on Truth Social at 3:35 a.m. while eating a bucket of KFC and having a Diet Coke. 3) Had my UN rep side with the Russians and against all our allies and vote no on telling Putin to get the hell out of Ukraine (it’s all Zelenskyy’s fault they got invaded, right?). 4) Played another 18 holes of golf. 5) Answered your DOGE email because no one on my staff wrote any executive orders to sign (you know I love signing them as soon as someone tells me what it is). I hope this covers everything you need. Go get ’em, tiger. Get crazy. Get vicious. Love the chainsaw. XOXO, Donnie. Michael Eddy
Manufactured image
Chicago: While surfing the internet as I often do, I discovered a feature describing little-known facts of history. For example, did you know that Cleopatra wasn’t merely an exotic temptress who seduced Roman luminaries for political gain? Or that Genghis Khan, rather than being the barbarian pictured in movies, was actually an enlightened leader who brought peace and prosperity to his far-flung Asian empire? I can’t help wondering if the list might one day include Trump, who besides being a lackluster politician with few social skills was also a failed businessman who declared bankruptcy six times. I can only envision readers of the future shaking their heads in amazement and wondering what else they don’t know about the strangely orange individual with the bird nest coiffure. Bob Ory
Outdated info
Woodside: Again, it’s great that the Daily News is doing the “On Broadway” listing, especially since you have stopped most, if not all, arts coverage. But of the 24 shows listed on Feb. 21, six have long since closed. I presume that drama critic Chris Jones does not do this column himself, but someone there really needs to keep up with the changes at the Broadway houses. In other words, if you are going to do this, please do it correctly, as would be expected of a quality newspaper. Tom Rice
Police privilege
Manhattan: Re “Two cops probed after arrest of ex-detective’s son” (Feb. 25): The average New Yorker with no NYPD connections who gets yanked from their car by cops and pummeled is on their own. But if your daddy is a retired NYPD detective with connections, the “good ol’ boy” system gets results in one day: “Thomas’ father, retired first-grade NYPD Detective Harold Thomas, texted the video of the arrest to Mayor Adams, former Chief of Department Jeffrey Maddrey, and other high-ranking NYPD officers within hours of his son’s arrest. The next day, the Internal Affairs Bureau put the two cops on modified assignment.” Ex-detective Thomas wrote: “I sent the video to Maddrey and all of the guys.” Thank you, Daily News, for printing how the NYPD good ol’ boy system works. Leonard Marshall
Crossover tolls
Glendale: Voicer Glenn O’Sullivan obviously doesn’t understand the difference between tolls on the Garden State Parkway/New Jersey Turnpike and congestion pricing. Glenn, the tolls you are referring to more or less go to the upkeep of the roads used by cars. Paying for something you use makes sense to me. The congestion pricing tolls paid by motorists are not going toward roads. The money is going toward subways and buses that the payer is not using. It’s simple and unjust! Thomas Murawski
