She shot and scored.
In her new memoir, “Everyone’s Seen My Tits,” “Ted Lasso” actress and writer Keeley Hazell recalled the night in 2006 that her then-boyfriend had a violent reaction when he caught British soccer star Joe Cole in her bed.
Hazell, 38, referred to her former partner as “Theo” in her book, but the Daily Mail reported that “Theo” is actually former soccer player and body builder Lloyd Miller.
In the Daily Mail’s excerpt from her memoir, Hazell explained that one night Cole got too drunk at Embassy Club in London’s West End with his teammates, so she and her friend helped him out by getting him into a cab and taking him to her parents’ home in Southeast London.
After putting Cole to bed, the former Page 3 Girl was shocked when Miller called her and told her he was coming over to get his car key from inside the house.
“Before I could mentally untangle myself, he arrived,” Hazell wrote. “I kissed him hello, trying to act sane while freaking out on the inside at the very real possibility that JC could wake up at any moment, shuffle down the stairs, and, well, ruin my life.”
But Hazell said that once Miller asked her about her night, she blurted out the truth.
“One, the idea of not telling him and him finding out was too much to bear,” she wrote. “Two, I was drunk. Three, I was incapable of lying. So, quickly, I explained the madness of the evening.”
Miller, according to Hazell, didn’t believe Cole was in her bed, so he went upstairs to see for himself.
“I walked back into the kitchen and sat down opposite Patsy,” she said about her friend who was also at the house. “Then there was a loud bang from upstairs. We froze. There was the sound of a door opening, then voices.”
“We rushed upstairs to investigate,” Hazell continued. “That’s when I saw Theo on top of JC, throwing punches at JC’s head. JC’s arms flailed, trying to shove Theo off, but Theo kept pinning him down, landing punch after punch.”
“JC was curled into a ball, his hands shielding his head as Theo circled, his fists clenched, waiting for him to get up just to knock him down again,” the actress recalled. “I screamed at Theo to stop, saying he was going to kill him if he wasn’t careful. This wasn’t some scrappy little bar fight; JC’s shirt had been ripped off; he was bruised and bleeding.”
Hazell, who described the scene as a “horror,” revealed that Cole hit Miller back and the two men tussled on the floor before Cole ran out of the house.
When Hazell asked Miller why he attacked Cole, he allegedly responded, “Man needs to learn a lesson. You don’t sleep in my girl’s bed… simple as.” He then walked out of the house with his car key.
The next day, Cole appeared on the front page of a tabloid newspaper with a black eye, Hazell recalled, noting that the press got wind of the story after he escaped her house.
“The papers reported that I had a party at my house with the rest of the England football team,” Hazell wrote. “I’m not sure why a bunch of millionaires would have travelled all the way to my council estate in Southeast London, when they could have just as easily partied in a hotel suite. But I was no stranger to false narratives.”
Miller, who is now 39 and lives with his girlfriend and their four daughters in Kent, England, reportedly told the Daily Mail in a recent interview he’s “surprised” Hazell included the infamous fight in her book.
“It happened a long time ago, I’m a changed man now. We all change over time, and I have mellowed a lot,” Miller said. “A lot went on that night and I’ve no interest in what happened.”
Elsewhere in her memoir, Hazell claimed that “Theo” released their sex tape as an act of revenge porn in 2007 after she broke up with him.
“What he did wasn’t just humiliating — it was devastating,” she wrote, per US Weekly. “He violated me in a way that was unforgivable, and I couldn’t stop it.”
“The video spread online like a highly contagious disease,” Hazell added. “The pain and public humiliation were insurmountable. The world assumed I wanted it. The world thought I’d released it.”
“Everyone’s Seen My Tits: Stories and Reflections From an Unlikely Feminist” is out now.
