The Golden Globes have really sobered up.
Good for them. But they’re turning into a buzzkill.
The formerly fun award show, which was reformed and bought by Dick Clark Productions last year after a series of embarrassing scandals, announced their 2025 nominees for film and television on Monday morning.
Unlike the wild-and-crazy Globes of yore, which made room for “Bridesmaids,” “Deadpool” and “Crazy Rich Asians,” alongside more prestigious fare, the on-the-wagon Globes’ list reads like that of a black-tie European festival.
I’m half-surprised presenters Mindy Kaling and Morris Chestnut didn’t begin the news with, “Mesdames et Messieurs …”
Actually, this year’s ceremony could, in a first, wind up snobbier than the Oscars. That’s hard to believe. Remember when the pack of buzzed international loons nominated “The Tourist” (20% on Rotten Tomatoes) just to get Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie to come? Those were the days.
This time, with bow ties affixed and pinkies out, French director Jacques Audiard’s “Emilia Pérez,” a Spanish-language musical about a Mexican drug lord who transitions into a woman, led with 10 — including Best Motion Picture — Musical or Comedy.
Netflix’s overrated art piece is somehow the second-most-nominated movie in the history of the Golden Globes.
“The Brutalist,” a three-and-a-half hour film — with an intermission! — about Hungarian architect László Tóth followed with seven, including Best Motion Picture — Drama and Best Performance by a Male Actor in a Motion Picture — Drama for Adrien Brody.
And “Anora,” the best of them all, managed five, notably for Best Motion Picture — Musical or Comedy and for sensational lead actress Mikey Madison.
And what of the movies you’ve heard of?
The fantastic “Dune: Part Two” eked out just two — Best Motion Picture — Drama and Best Original Score — Motion Picture. And the most accessible title of the pack, “Wicked,” scored four (its two stars, Cynthia Erivo and Ariana Grande, Best Motion Picture — Musical or Comedy and the dumb Cinematic and Box Office Achievement category).
I certainly did not expect the big-budget Broadway adaptation to be outperformed by the bonkers and controversial Cannes body-horror movie “The Substance” starring Demi Moore (five).
Therein lies the biggest statement of the list: France’s Coralie Fargeat, who directed “The Substance,” got a nod, while “Wicked’s” Jon M. Chu, an American, did not. “Gladiator II‘s” Ridley Scott was knocked out, too.
That’s the Globes laying their cards right out on the table.
Their movie picks are respectable, certainly. And many of the nominees are terrific. Nomination morning was once a much-mocked affair, but today’s list wasn’t far off from that of the New York Film Critics Circle.
However, the old show also was a useful antidote to the Oscars in both taste and style. The broadcast was raucous thanks to fearless hosts such as Ricky Gervais and free-flowing Champagne at tables.
And popular titles like “Deadpool & Wolverine” and “Inside Out 2” would be wedged into big categories to acknowledge an altogether different set of skills. Now they’re relegated to Cinematic and Box Office Achievement and Best Motion Picture — Animated.
The type of mainstream performances that used to join the acting competitions will never be allowed in again. Before the Globes revised their ranks and added more dignified voters outside of the US, Michael Keaton might’ve been included for “Beetlejuice Beetlejuice” or Ryan Reynolds for “Deadpool & Wolverine.”
Now, if someone sneaks in, it’ll be for a niche project. Best Performance by a Female Actor in a Motion Picture — Drama nominee Pamela Anderson probably seems like a Pia Zadora, for instance, but she’s lovely in “The Last Showgirl.”
We’d already reached award show critical mass. Yet, in course-correcting their corruption, the Globes have ended up giving us more of the same — only Frencher.
The 2025 Golden Globes air Sunday, Jan. 5, at 8 p.m. EST on CBS. ‘Twill be a Dry January, indeed.
