The sky is falling.
Or, to be more accurate, a lot of snow is falling from the sky.
But to hear the meteorologists tell it — every six minutes it seems — the world is coming to an end.
It’s not enough that it’s a winter storm. It has to be a historic winter storm.
It’s 15 degrees outside, and somehow that’s not cold enough. So the weather people have to give us the windchill factor, and tell us it feels like 2 degrees outside. Thanks a lot.
All last week, we were on a winter storm watch. What did we learn on Friday that we didn’t know on Thursday? It’s going to be really, really cold, and it’s going to snow a lot.
Thank you. End of story.
Then I have to get constant updates from my smart speaker, which it turns out isn’t really all that smart, but don’t tell Alexa I said so.
I don’t think she likes me very much.
The weather reports about the snow and cold have added new words to my vocabulary: Crippling. Paralyzing. Historic. Massive. Bitter. Apocalyptic.
Generational.
This one’s my personal favorite: Snowmageddon.
It was the storm before the storm.
And, thanks to them, I had to spend half the day at the store, stocking up on things I already had plenty of. Milk. Eggs. Water. Juice. Toilet paper.
I don’t get why there’s a run on snow shovels at places like Lowes and Home Depot. The ice-melting stuff, I can understand. But shovels? They’re not disposable. What did people do with the shovels they bought the last time it snowed?
I even filled my car with gas, like they said to, even though they also said I’d be stuck in the house and wouldn’t be able to go anywhere.
That means I’m stuck on my street, shoveling snow, the big chore that falls from the sky.
The quality of my snow shoveling efforts are in direct proportion to the amount of snow that falls. If it’s a little bit of snow, I clear a wide path. But if the snowfall is crippling or apocalyptic — new vocabulary words — the width of the path matches that of my shovel.
That means people have to walk by in single file: You, your partner and your dog.
It’s a lot of pressure, but nothing like the pressure Mayor Mamdani must be under.
He can say all he wants about affordability and free buses, but if the new mayor can’t get snowplows up and down the streets, it could make or break his political career.
New Yorkers care about getting their snow cleared and their garbage picked up. If you can’t do those things, don’t even apply for the job.
Mamdani’s predecessor, former Mayor Eric Adams, knows.
“Big storm on the way,” Adams tweeted on Friday. “Reminder: I don’t run City Hall anymore. Yelling at me on Twitter will not speed up snow removal.”
Mamdani already lost big points when he said students wouldn’t get a snow day no matter how big the storm is.
Schoolchildren haven’t had an old-fashioned snow day since the pandemic ushered in virtual learning.
“I have to apologize to the students that we’re hoping for a different answer for a traditional snow day,” Mamdani said during a press briefing on the storm.
He said the city has no flexibility in its calendar to cancel instructional days.
Two words for the mayor: Boo. Hiss.
Just because we have the technology to avoid an old-fashioned snow day, it doesn’t mean we should.
The snow and cold are stressful enough. Give the kids a break
