Why choosing ‘cozy’ sleepwear could mean the ‘death of intimacy’



Janky jammies could be jamming up your sex life. 

Flannels and muumuus and long johns — oh my, they’re not hot. And wearing any of the above (or worse) to bed can render a couple’s intimacy dead. 

“Comfort kills urgency,” Channa Bromley, a relationship coach, warned Newsweek, spilling the ugly truth about the perils of practical pajamas. 

Relationship experts say that cozy pajamas could negatively impact a relationship. gpointstudio – stock.adobe.com

“They are not just nightwear,” insisted the romance pro of more than two decades. “They are a signal. When someone trades in seduction for a fleece onesie, they are not prioritizing attraction. They are prioritizing ease.

“That shift,” continued Bromley, “subtle as it seems, seeps into every part of a relationship.”

And no one wants to shift the bed. 

In fact, romance researchers previously found that catching Zs sans clothes is better than being closed off by cozy, albeit unflattering finery. 

Recent research found that couples who sleep naked are happier than honeys who sleep in clothes. LIGHTFIELD STUDIOS – stock.adobe.com

A survey via Cotton USA reportedly determined that 57% lovebirds who sleep in the buff were happier than the 48% who hit the hay in PJs, the 43% of nightmarish nighties fans and the 38% of twosomes who regularly rock onesies.

The findings were echoed by a January 2024 study from Avocado Green Mattress, which revealed that 62% of nude snoozers lead super satisfying sex lives. A heart-pounding 72% of respondents in relationships said bedding down in their birthday suits “positively impacted“ their intimacy. 

Going bare-butt could also have positive benefits on one’s physical health — including weight loss. 

Insiders say that sleeping in the nude can be beneficial to a person’s overall health. LIGHTFIELD STUDIOS – stock.adobe.com

“Sleeping naked may contribute to better hormonal regulation, including the production of sleep-related hormones like melatonin,” Kecia Gaither, a double board-certified OB/GYN, recently told The Post

She noted that the hormone boost could rev up a person’s metabolism, potentially helping waist-watchers burn calories as they sleep. 

However, for shy sweethearts who aren’t overly comfortable slumbering in just their skins, Bromley suggests keeping bedroom togs steamy rather than sensible. 

“Attraction thrives on friction. It needs tension. It needs contrast. It needs the subtle pull of desire against restraint,” she explained to Newsweek. “Comfortable pajamas strip that away.”

Bromley warns that the sexual “friction” between lovers can be stripped away by unappealing bedtime apparel. Valerii Apetroaiei – stock.adobe.com

“They erase the visual cues that ignite attraction and replace them with something softer. Something safer.”

But there is hope for folks who are hopelessly devoted to their homely nightclothes.  

“That does not mean wearing cozy sleepwear is the death of intimacy,” she said, adding that it means couples should be more intentional by making an extra effort.

Researchers suggest making an extra effort to visually stimulate your partner behind closed doors. konradbak – stock.adobe.com

“If both partners are wrapped in layers of fleece and flannel,” continued the pro, “the real question is whether they are still seeing each other as lovers or if they have stopped seeing each other at all.”

Sexologist Candice Nicole Hargons agreed, advising pairs to get creative with their pajama selection. 

“You and your partner can ask each other what type of pajamas are attractive by saying, ‘pick something for me to sleep in that you find sexy from my current wardrobe,’” she offered.

“Each of you can opt to wear them on a night you designate to see if you feel a bit more turned on with each other,” added Hargons. “If you notice a difference, you can make it a more regular part of your life.”



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